Like the few others sprinkled along the road, our house was tucked away in the hills and surrounded by trees and foliage. It was quiet, secluded, and felt like Yosemite, but without all the tourists and bears. I talked to a Fed Ex lady who delivered packages in the neighborhood and she told me Jason Newsted from Metallica lived on the street. I never found him, but trust me, I rode my BMX bike up and down that road for months yelling, “Jason, dude, where are you?!”

Anyway, the house came equipped with a trampoline, a hot tub, a hammock, a chicken coup, and, most importantly, a no-car garage. The owner was a genetic engineer who would bring home unmarked bottles, spray their contents on an empty patch of dirt, and a week later we would have tomato plants 6 feet high. He was also a musician and, between the two of us, our garage housed all the makings of a decent 4-track recording studio: mics, amps, soundboard, guitars, keyboards, drums, 4-track, et al... The only problem was that neither of us knew squat about recording.

After a year and a half of living there, circumstances caused my mom to move in. Not only did she move into my same house, but my same room, as well. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in the garage after that. I found myself surrounded by all the equipment I was taking for granted so I took it upon myself to figure it all out. Most anyone who records for a living knows that six months, using only free time, is not nearly adequate enough to effectively know about studio engineering. In fact, most of these songs were written and recorded in 2 evenings the week preceding my having to move, so all quality control issues can be directly linked to that. Never mind the shoddy song structures or the off-key singing or the Needs-Improvement instrumentation, blame it all on the lack of recording skills and time. Speaking of instrumentation, I tried to keep the drum machine usage to a minimum (Medley, Hot Buns and Do You Know?) by “playing” real drums myself. But in cases where I could not, in any sense of the word, keep a decent beat, I enlisted the drumming talents of my friend Bradley - the whitest, skinniest, most hairless boy I have ever known.

So this thing has like 30 songs on it and it's about 45 minutes long. It's mostly songs about getting dumped, an actuality I don't particularly enjoy. These are the titles of the songs:

Restore L’Amore - The One Thing - I Turned Into A Medley (a 7-minute Misfits medley, polka style) - Tell A Friend - Make Sure There’s No Squares At My Funeral - Kung FuLafel - The No-Pants Party - I’d Juggle With Three Hands For You - Why’d She Have To Break Up With Me?!?! - Pistol-Whipt - Kickin’ It Down at da Gyz-m - Kelly Marie - The Two Thing - Dear Gramps - Hot Buns (theme to Top Gun II) - Flowers Across My Car Windshield - You Down Wit ADD? - I’m Tired & I’m Cranky, So Shut The Fuck Up / Second-Hand Chain-Smoker - Couch Potato - DMC’s Taking No Crap - Do You Know? - Nel Contra Caca - Wrap - You or the Dog? (Who Will I Miss More) - Hey, Ex-Girlfriend