Finland and the Sex Ferry

Behold: Glam Rock is Alive And Well And Fruity In Finland "Hello, My Tender"

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Bizarro world, me drinking beer and Jack drinking water.

Pori, Finland, pics by Antti Abduktio

Check out that belly!

"Jack Riding a Big Sausage" (acrylic on canvas)

...which begs the question, "Just who is Pila, and does she/he bake cookies?"

Dreaming the sweet dream of Pila's cookies

My name is Vehlu, and I have a knife.

At least the church was upfront about its activities.

And then the voice in the clouds said, "Go, go to the Sex Church."

For the record, we were the "other" band.

The Finns love their flea markets. And after these finds I love them too.

I was a bit nervous about playing the DIY Fest in Helsinki.  Musically we don’t fall into the standard DIY fold, but I can assure you this is a DIY tour if ever there was one.  We are still booking this tour day by day.  Every day I spend, on average, an hour online emailing promoters and clubs and figuring out alternate driving routes and which cities are feasible to reach in a day’s drive and where that lands us for the next day and on and on.  Geez, I can’t remember how it was before the internet… Anyway, I needn’t worry about how we would go over because it went fine.  Hero Dishonest played and really, they were so good I didn’t really care if we played, I was just glad to see them.  In my mind they are that good.

Ha, I just noticed that store in the background is called A HOL.

Hero Dishonest

I told people I wore those earmuffs so I could sleep back home, because of all the gunshots. No one questioned me.

Even Mikko's solos use goofy chords!

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Despite the language barrier there was much heckling and banter.  I made mention of the kiddie-sized toilets and sinks at the club (the venue was an old daycare) and a guy yelled back that it was because Finns always crawled to the bathroom anyway.

A German audience (notice the drunk people sitting on the stage)

A Finnish audience (notice the drunk people on each other)

Here, in my van...

It's like comparing Appels and Apelsin.

Helsinki - Click for fullsized picture

The Tunnel

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Stockholm - click for fullsized picture

I have heard many stories of the ferry between Helsinki, Finland and Stockholm, Sweden.  Bands have been riding the ferry for many years and they all tell the same story – it’s a Sex Ferry.  For a very small price a person can get a room on the ferry in Helsinki and ride 17 hours to Stockholm and back.  Alcohol is cheap, the waters are international, and the party doesn’t stop.  It is touted as being a floating rave.  Whatever, I was just keen on watching people have an embarrassingly debaucherous time while myself masturbating over the railing into the sea (it was, after all, the Sex Ferry).

Ready for the Sex Ferry, you betcha!

Anytime we were in public on the Sex Ferry Seth became our little monkey pet.

Under-aged gambling - this boat has everything!!

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Despite the disappointing start of our Sex Ferry it turned out pretty damned fun, thanks to Essi, Meiju and Hanna.  And it also turned out there was a large party scene on the boat, way down in the lower decks (the cheap seats) where all the party passengers were teenagers, hanging out smoking and drinking and fucking in the hallways.  Somewhere around 5 or 6am I tried finding my way back to our room but had a very hard time.  I finally found an elevator I recognized and pushed the button.  The doors opened and a 16 year old kid with hair the shape of Darth Vader’s helmet was standing there in his underwear.  I stepped in and he gave me a nod.  I said, “I can’t find my room.”  He said “That’s why I’m in here.”

The doors to my floor opened and there stood a line of security guards.  They pointed at my buddy and without a word he followed them down the hall.

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